Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Eavesdropping on Love, in Stages: 2011 Edition

The Hunt

  • "I have 10 months to either get in a band or get married. If either one of those happens in the next 10 months, I'm good." (Young man at Giants game, overheard by Erik Wilson)
  • "This is why I can never find my Prince Charming. I keep eating him." (Woman receiving an order of frog legs, overheard at Epic Roasthouse by Jonathan Hood)
  • "Pardon me. Would this be a good place to meet eligible men, or should I try Andronico's?" (Woman to clerk at Berkeley's Monterey Market, overheard by Margery Eriksson)
  • "I'm partial to the odd ginger." (Woman discussing preferences in men, overheard in Belfast, Northern Ireland, by Ariel Clarke)
  • "The basis for our friendship is that I'm too short for you to date." (Woman to man, overheard at the Ramp by Kate Rix)
  • "She is a gourmet chef." "Yes, but she is a Republican." (Conversation between man and woman, overheard at Piperade by Donna and Robert Watke)

The Date

  • "Oh, you're cute. Not Abercrombie cute. But cute." (Young woman to man, overheard at Diablo Valley College by Laury Fischer)
  • "He was bigger, balder, but not better." (Woman of 30 to pal, overheard at Balthazar in New York by Nancy Pietrafesa)
  • "I have a date tonight. He is not classically good looking, but he has a job." (Woman power walking, overheard in Saugus, Mass., by the brother of Steven Santilli)
  • "No, Dad, you can't date her. She's much older than you and you're married to Mom." (Woman on cell phone, overheard at LAX by Stephen Hochheiser)
  • "She's not very good at business, but she can channel. That's how she found me." (Man to woman, overheard in Malibu by Carol David)
  • "This is the first time I ever told a girl straight off, 'I'm unreliable.' " (Man to man, overheard on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley by Steve Finacom)

The Excitement

  • "You don't get drunk. You get awesome." (Young man to young woman, overheard outside Gale's Central Club Saloon in Petaluma by Roger Weeks)
  • "We got on the phone with each other and went through an entire relationship in two hours." (Man to woman, overheard at outdoor cafe in the Castro by Karen Topakian) 
  • "You know, a man smitten by a beautiful woman will put up with a lot of crap." (Woman on cell phone, overheard on Indian Rock Path in Berkeley by Amalia Klinger)
  • "And I said, 'I don't want to marry you. Unless you start wearing shoes.' " (Young woman to girlfriends, overheard in Alameda by Kate McKowen)
  • "Of course he's committed to you. You just can't use that word when you talk to him about it." (Woman talking on cell phone, overheard in a car on Post Street by Bill McCart)
  • "When she explained that ref's call to me, marrying her came to mind." (Two guys having beers, overheard in Berkeley after the Big Game by Dick Ahern)

The Ongoing

  • "Look at all these men seeking redemption!" (Woman waiting in line among many men at See's Candy in El Cerrito Plaza, overheard just before Valentine's Day by Andy Liu)
  • "I'm the boss of my house. My wife lets me smoke cigars." (Man to man, overheard at Tadich by Bob Epstein)
  • "I know he really loves me and I take that into account." (Woman on cell phone, overheard at El Cerrito Plaza by Mary Ann Whaley)
  • "My husband gave me another necklace. It would be cheaper for him just to say, 'I love you,' but he never does, so I keep getting more jewelry." (Woman to friend, overheard at Westfield San Francisco Centre food court by Alistair McElwee)
  • "You'll learn. If she says 'fix it,' you'll fix it." (Man to man, overheard in Italy by Audrey West)
  • "It's a lot easier to make up with her when she is crying than when she is mad. Crying takes maybe three seconds, but mad can take hours." (Man to man, overheard at screening of Woody Allen movie by Pamela Gerard)

The Aftermath

  • "He broke up with me through an e-mail ... 10 minutes after we talked on the phone." (Woman to pal, overheard in Montpelier, Vt., by Laura Mahanes and Steven Weissman)
  • "If you know anyone who wants a boyfriend, I have one I am getting rid of." (Customer to clerk at OSH in San Rafael, overheard by Tom Harrison)
  • "I've been in several pseudo relationships that have taken me years to get over." (Young man on cell phone, overheard on 38L-Geary by Dave Stewart)
  • "It was so cold this winter, I missed my ex-husband." (Woman in Berkeley art gallery, overheard by Steve Finacom)
  • "His ex went to his Amazon wish list and added books on narcissism." (Woman hiker overheard on a trail in Guerneville by Lyndi Brown)
  • "Absence makes the heart go yonder." (Man on cell phone, overheard at 24th and Church by Wendy Miller)
  • "Now I remember why I divorced you!" (Elderly woman to elderly male companion, in line for lunch at the de Young, overheard by Babs Weiss)

The Bliss of It All

  • "I married a guy I met in grad school in the '50s, and so far it seems to be working." (One woman to another, overheard walking in Berkeley by Paul Templeton)
  • "My wife and I have replaced our traditional post-coital cigarette with Sudoku." (Man to man, overheard at the Ramp by Leo Maselli)
  • "You should see my wife. She is 95 and on a bad day, she looks 50." (Gent of 90, overheard at Solano Avenue post office by Bill Kimberlin)
  • "When I first met my husband, we were maladjusted bitches. Now, 30 years later, we're still maladjusted bitches. We're very happy." (Male student at CCSF Ocean Campus, overheard by B. Jackson)

Public Eavesdropping

  • "If I had a dog, I wouldn't need a boyfriend." (Person stopping to pet a dog, overheard outside Peet's on Market Street by Steve Abney)