Monday, August 30, 2010

Mouse Lips Lolahan Returns!

Before disappearing into The Wild, Schnitty must have schooled Lola in the fine art of bloodless rodential take down.  This was brought home to us last night, beginning about 1:30 a.m. I woke up to go to the bathroom, and got there via the door from our walk-through closet. This door is usually closed at night when we have guests, as we did last night; when I opened it, both cats crowded into the bathroom, Lola milling about in the tub, Tricksy folding herself into the sink.  

When I left the bathroom they followed, elbowing one another in the rush for the food bowls; honestly, you might think we hadn't fed them in days, the way they rushed that kibble. Shaking my head, I left the closet door to the bathroom open, hoping they would leave after the feeding frenzy. Shortly after that, I found myself wide awake so I turned on the bedside light and picked up my library book.

I read only a sentence or two before I heard Lola, in the little upstairs landing office next to the bathroom, meowing really, really loudly. I was afraid her yowling would wake Raj and our guests, it was that loud.  "Lola!" I hisspered new word, combination of hiss and whisper which is exactly what I was doing, trying to get her attention without disturbing Raj, slumbering innocently next to me; "LOLA!" I hissed again as I sat up in bed. Tricksy appeared in the closet doorway looking excited. She stepped aside as Lola strode into the room, Lola still making her loud sounds before popping up on the bed next to me, with a small mouse clamped in her tiny jaws.

"GAH!" I shouted, jumping in alarm, whereupon Raj, sound asleep, sat bolt upright in bed, half-shouting himself, "What? What is it?" as Tricksy bounded onto the foot of the bed and Lola dropped the mouse, exactly in my spot, on my 100% cotton, 250 thread count, creamy white fitted sheet, with a resounding PLOP.  Raj, waking up a little, said with great feeling, "YUCK!" I pushed Lola off the bed with one hand, Tricksy off the bed with a foot, and we all took a moment to breathe deeply and regain our composure. Except the mouse. "Is it alive?" Raj inquired delicately; "Nope. This one's dead," remembering with a shudder the sad little PLOP when it hit the sheets. 

Raj sighed resignedly, and muttering bitterly to himself, pulled on his pajamas, and left the room to get something to wrangle to body with. Tricksy eyed the corpse with some interest from the foot of the bed, Lola from the side; both poking their heads up from where I had just flung them to the floor. Lola gave a sidelong glance at Tricksy, looked at me with irritation, looked at the mouse, and reached out a paw in a blatant attempt to swipe the body. "NO!" I bellowed, both word and tone of which my cats know very well. They reluctantly subsided to their haunches, and resolved into two pairs of shifty green eyes peering over the edge of the bed like a pair of crocodiles hiding in a pond.

Raj returned, using toilet paper to grab the poor thing by the tail.  Lola and Tricksy milled about excitedly when he dropped it on the way out the door; a few sharp words from me and they returned to nosing about the spot on the bed formerly occupied by the mouse. Raj returned several minutes later at which point both Kittehs were installed in their customary foot-of-our-bed positions pretending to be asleep, and I had returned to my library book.

Raj crawled back into bed, turned off his bedside lamp, and fell soundly asleep almost instantly.  I continued reading, and for a few blessed moments all was right with our little world.


Our domestic bliss was interrupted again, when more very, very loud cat sounds erupted at full volume, from the vicinity of the the little office on the landing, disturbing my momentary appreciation of the "Now." "Lola!" I hisspered, "COME HERE!" I assumed she was protesting the mouse confiscation and various other indignities suffered at our hands; "LOLA!" Tricksy finally sidled into the room, again ahead of Lola, looking back over her shoulder. Lola followed, sliding out of the closet and looking at me warily, another dead mouse, gripped firmly in her little Kitteh teeth. 

"Gawd, Raj, she's got another one!" I groaned, as I struggled upright, and gave him an elbow; "AAnnnggghhhh" was his agonized response, "Is it dead?" "Yup," I said, "It certainly is." He was heard whispering "AAnnnggghhhh" to himself as he got out of bed. He repeated the Night Time Mouse Corpse Removal Ritual as I herded Kittehs through the closet, out of the bedroom, and out of the bathroom, before shutting the door firmly behind them.  I was determined to put an end to The Fahm's Mousenanigans another new word! for the rest of the night. As I say, I draw the line at rodents, dead or alive, in my bed.